024/07/2020 18:22

Wie auf der Straße flirten?

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hey there chickaboom,
i’m 27, and also relatively new to the online dating game having recently come out of a three year relationship… Ive spent the last 6 months internet dating though, and I can totally relate to your question– i seriously think the worst part about first dates is when everyone in the restaurant sitting around you can overhear your conversation and just knows that youre on a first date…i feel like ive tried so many different kinds of dates/ strategies/ approaches to first dates, and have kindof come up with my own first date (first time im meeting the guy) game plan… I pick the place– its always a coffee shop in a pretty area with ample parking (less to stress about and that way I can wear uncomfortable but cute shoes). I get there about a half an hour before we’re supposed to meet and I buy myself a coffee (that way there’s no awkward who’s going to pay moment) and I come armed with a book– which will lead to immediate conversation bc the guy inevitably asks about it (and if he doesnt, dump him immediately)… also, this way, you dont have to worry about spotting him– he will spot you sitting there, and when he gets there you just have to tell him to go grab a drink and join you. Okay, now here is the best part– the brilliant thing about hot coffee or tea is that it is socially acceptable to drink it at any pace. If the date sucks I slurp it down quickly– if its going really well, i take tiny sips… the date ends when the cofee does in most cases, but if its going really well, and you seem to be hitting it off, you can suggest a walk around whatever area you picked– the boardwalk, the park , the shops…my feeling about internet dating is that the first date should really not have to have the pressure of romance, given that you have never seen each other in person before– its not like first dates when you know the guy and its your first actual time out together, because you really have no clue if there is chemistry until youve met– agreeing to meet someone that youve found online is not agreeing to date them, its agreeing to meet them…keep it low key– remeber that you are fabulous, and try your best not to get discouraged– also, look hot– its never a bad thing to look and feel hotter than your date, because it helps to feel like youve got power and control… also, i generally try to be dating more than one guy at once, so that i dont obsess or feel bad if things dont pan out…if you decide to juggle more than two at a time though, i highly recommend taking notes after a date so that you dont get confused later– best of luck out there!

24/07/2020 18:22No
015/07/2020 18:11

In bed or out of bed, the relationship was innapropriate to say the least and as Jeff mentioned began with no where to really go.

Why did he leave? Who knows, but it was a smart move on his part.

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Holy Moly Lindsey!

Is there really a mystery here?

Women “typically” cheat for one of two reasons:
1. Important needs not being met.
2. Revenge – he did it, so I will, too.

You haven’t shared the following:
1. How long you’ve been married.
2. Is this your first affair.
3. Are you planning to STAY married.

Boy wonder either got tired of being #2, decided that the novelty of an illicit relationship has run its course, or met a single lady who piqued his interest. He couldn’t afford to get very attached to you, and did the right thing by ending it.

What needs did he REALLY fulfill, or was this a game to you?

The important question you should be asking yourself is: Is your marraige worth saving? If so, get busy. Outside assistance is needed at this point. If there are basic incompatibility issues, perhaps it’s not salvageable. Do the right thing for you and your husband and end it NOW. (Agreeing w Selena on that latter point.)

There is alot of satisfaction and fulfillment to be had in life Lindsey, however, we have to position ourselves so we can claim it.

Good luck to you, and keep us posted on your progress.


15/07/2020 18:11No
003/07/2020 02:59

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03/07/2020 02:59No
001/07/2020 17:47

I’m delighted to read this one, as it seems it indicates I’m not the only woman out there who doesn’t know how to flirt when I actually like someone, or to show a guy I like him…

Hmmm, I have little to say of any practical use. I find it interesting that many people think they are sending obvious clues, but they may not be obvious at all. I also think it may be a case of people not knowing how to flirt.

Jeff, perhaps you would write about this, specifically, some time?

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Actually, I think I could have said something about this specific case: in my view, it appears that the guy is sufficiently interested.

I also think that when interest is not very strong (and this may be a case) the timing is very important, for his interest may fade away quickly if he thinks there is not a reciprocal interest. (This has been my experience: people tend to move on when they don’t sense interest on the other’s side.)

01/07/2020 17:47No
025/06/2020 15:00

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25/06/2020 15:00No
019/06/2020 17:44

My slant on this is totally different than you Jeff.
I personally think he was interested in Rose, but perhaps she appeared needy when she asked him if he was serious or not.

There is a dance that goes on between a man and a woman and I think the idea is to encourage that ,whilst getting to know him better and sussing out the possibilities whilst remaining flirtatious and keeping HIM guessing.

So….Rose….. I would suggest you reinitiate the flirting behavior with the main aim of just having fun… you liked this, right? and now it has stopped ( sigh!)

It may take a while for you to get back to where you where. Don’t put any pressure on him, flirt… be confident….be a bit mysterious about who you are dating…. and don’t mention anything about going out with him again.

Let him do the chasing and act as if you have totally forgotten about it with no hard feelings.

Hope this helps:)

PS Jeff….. maybe I have super intuitive powers….but if a man flirts with me AND he is gay I can smell it a mile away

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What I love is that, Liberace really sort of had everybody fooled for a time there, didn’t he? Wow.

Sian: Interesting take on the situation. It’s certainly possible, I suppose. I can only think that…well, when I’m genuinely interested in a woman, at that early stage of the game ANY behavior is adorable. And if it’s NOT for him (i.e. if the “neediness” you’re talking about is a turnoff) then I’d have to wonder about his level of interest.

Thanks so much for the great comment!

19/06/2020 17:44No
018/06/2020 17:23

I double what Gigity says. Perfect advice. If you don’t trust the guy, how can you have a good relationship, whether or not this woman holds any significance for him? Give him the chance to prove himself by being patient and open-minded and see where he wants to steer the relationship, especially since he already initiates communication. I’d say give it time, don’t run from the good guys =p That’s why so many guys say “nice guys finish last”. He was honest with you about the girl, and you have to reward that behavior by not being suspicious when you have no reason.










18/06/2020 17:23No
017/06/2020 17:57

I’m not talking about food and housing, hopefully you have that taken care of. However, if your basic emotional needs are not being met, eventually you will seek it elsewhere. I know I need a guy who can make me laugh. When I’ve dated boring guys, it never lasts long enough for me to be tempted, because I recognize what I’m missing.

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17/06/2020 17:57No
015/06/2020 19:54

I like the statement Jeff made regarding Spying v/s Asking; Closed v/s Locked. It’s the truth. Thing is, my fiance was talking to his ex a couple of months before he proposed. Of course I flipped, but thing is once we got everything out on the table I realized that it was partly my own behavior that was causing him to feel worried about trusting ME. Plus, there were other factors involved; his unemployment, feeling like he couldn’t give his all being unemployed, etc., which lead to his considering going back to his ex just for a place to crash until he got on his feet and could get his life together. 










15/06/2020 19:54No
014/06/2020 05:38

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14/06/2020 05:38No
011/06/2020 17:49











Oh, and one other reason men cheat: lack of variety. I knew a guy who cheated because his girlfriend wouldn’t poo on his chest. Another one who cheated because his girlfriend was against gagging him in a corner and beating him.

Generally though, cheaters are men who hide things rather than being honest and bringing them out in the open.

A non-cheater who felt the same way about the waterslide might say:

“Hey, I’m not in the mood for a committed relationship right now. How about we just have sex?”

A man who gets into a committed relationship knowing he is a hider, a liar, and a cheater, is only doing it to hurt someone.

11/06/2020 17:49No
010/06/2020 19:54
10/06/2020 19:54No
010/06/2020 19:54
10/06/2020 19:54No
009/06/2020 20:30
09/06/2020 20:30No
009/06/2020 20:30














Here’s the bottom line: if they care, they share. Men are wonderfully generous with their time and energy when they are into you. The activities they enjoy doing with you vary cos they want to know much more about you.

When a guy is just out for one thing, their behavior reflects this and it very uncomfotable with the lady in question if she desires more from him. Inequity in feelings becomes obvious very quickly. Listen to your gut.

Also, when a man really values a woman, and is looking into the possibility of a long term relationship with her, he is content to take his time getting physical. It makes it all that much sweeter.

Good luck to you, and keep a cool eye…do not allow yourself to be pressured into fearing that you may “lose him” if you don’t give in. Let the shoe be on the other foot…he should be the one to fear turning YOU off if he get’s too pushy. And men are very well acquainted with this line of thinking with women.

09/06/2020 20:30No
009/06/2020 20:29
09/06/2020 20:29No
008/06/2020 20:08
08/06/2020 20:08No
014/05/2020 20:28
14/05/2020 20:28No
014/05/2020 20:28
14/05/2020 20:28No
014/05/2020 20:28

















14/05/2020 20:28No
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